Well...

Ok well now that I am done being a crybaby I can do what I have to do.  :)

So yesterday for about the third time, somebody told me that I am becoming rude, losing my compassion, and that I think I can get whatever I want just because I am me.  Well that's not the person I want to be so I suppose I better change and get back with the program.  Sometimes I don't realize that I am being rude, how do I stop that?  Sometimes I say things that hurt other people because I feel that they need to be said...how do I learn compassion again?  Sometimes I pose "threats" to get what I want, I want to be a team player again. 

I should recognize when I am being rude, but sometimes I honestly don't catch myself.  (Which is really bad!)  People around me are not always able to tell if I am being sarcastic or serious.  I am trying, I sometimes need reminding.  But then, when someone "reminds" me that I am being rude; I take their honesty out of context and consider them rude.  I have issues! UGH! 
Unlike the fact that I don't always notice when I am rude, I do notice that I am being less and less compassionate with other adults.  Sometimes I hear the hostility in my voice and in my words ... and yet I continue saying what I started to say.  I need to be humbled some how; do I need to lose everything in order to gain?  **Inside thought ... Now I understand!**
OK, now now I need to stop thinking that I am indispensible ... I need to stop thinking that I can say or do what I want to get what I need.  Sometimes I will have to wait, sometimes I will need to put all else aside and realize that no matter how much I deserver it I need to have patience.  Even though I do realize that I am an important part of the process, I am essential and I am an asset ... I also need to realize that I am PART of the process and if it weren't for everything else involved then there would be no process at all!

My next steps ...
1.  Don't speak without knowing what to say.  Before you speak, make sure to put meaning behind your words, and individualize/personalize conversations.
2.  Find a way to humble yourself; Go to each room in your house and choose 10 things that you don't need, things that someone else can use. 
3.  Look at things as a whole; realize that when you take one ingredient out of the cake the cake is no longer good.  TRUST each ingredient to do his/her part, don't assumet that one ingredient will fail. 

Speak words of life!